


my sweetest downfall

by perksofbeingabooknerd



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Angst, Dark, Drama, F/M, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2646008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingabooknerd/pseuds/perksofbeingabooknerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>twelve drabbles based off songs from the playlist "my sweetest downfall" </p><p>http://8tracks.com/seasnns/my-sweetest-downfall</p><p>to listen to as you read :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. she smelled of daisies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set between "and so it begins..." and "all round great guy" (when hero gets together with claudio)

Big Jet Plane

**I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her**

**She smelled of daisies, she smelled of daisies-John**

 

 

He leaned against the wall in the hallway, looking about him lazily. It was lunchtime, and everyone was walking around, talking, laughing, and generally just fooling around. He couldn't help but pity them. All those pathetic, conformist teenagers who would do the stupidest things just for approval. Just like his brother. Mr. Perfect. Mr. "All Round Great Guy". It was all an act. Everyone just pretended.

But not her, though.

She didn't pretend. He never saw anything less than genuine coming from her. All her smiles, all her laughs, none of them were fake. There was nothing fake about her. 

John's eyes softened as he studied her, sitting on the table where her cousin and her friends ate. She was so lovely. She looked like a photograph just then, in her red dress and her sunny smile. 

They'd never spoken more than two words to each other, but it didn't matter. Hero Duke spoke nothing but kind words to all who met her. It didn't help that he'd had a crush on her for forever, either. 

John sometimes wondered what it would feel like to have her in his arms. 

He noticed her lean over and say something to her cousin, then leave the table. She was heading toward him so quickly that he almost didn't have time to panic. As she got closer, Hero glanced at John and gave him one of her signature sunny smiles. John's heart skipped a beat, and in his surprise, he almost forgot to smile back. Almost.

As she walked by, her scent wafted over him. Yup, she smelled just like daisies. Just the way John had imagined it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this in all of five or seven minutes, so bear with me if it's cheesy/bad/whatever. enjoy!


	2. blindsided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-party, pre "for hero"

Blindsided

**I was blindsided-Hero**

 

Hero lay curled up in her bed. It was where she spent most of her days now. She didn't have anywhere else to go to seek refuge, and even if she did, she wasn't sure she ever wanted to leave this spot.

She didn't want to think about. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't even want to cry about it-not that she could cry anymore, anyway. She was pretty sure she'd used up all her tears. All she could do was just lie there and stare at the wall. So that's what she did.

She couldn't remember ever feeling this vulnerable. All she knew was that she was hit where it hurt the most, in her blind side. 

Hero wanted to laugh at the sheer irony of it-that she was hit right where it mattered, by the person who mattered. Her love for him was her blind side, and he attacked her for it. 

 _Happy fucking birthday_ , she thought bitterly to herself. 


	3. where i've been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set several years in the future, when John and Hero get together but are both still uncertain about it

Dark Star

**If I told you where I've been**

**Would you still call me baby?-John**

 

It was John's third year of university. Compared to his high school years, he reckoned he was doing quite a lot better now. His relationship with Pedro was a lot better, healthier, but they were always working at it. And thanks to weekly sessions with his therapist, John slowly began to grapple with his inner demons and repair his self-esteem. And of course, he'd apologized to Hero at that picnic all those years ago. He really did mean it, too. She was never meant to get sucked into his ridiculous plan. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

But she _was_ sucked into his plan, and he did hurt her. As much as he wanted to travel back in time and stop everything, he couldn't. The only thing he could've done-and the only thing Hero wanted-was to move forward. 

After the picnic, they didn't talk much. They just didn't have anything to say to the other that hadn't already been said. So they carried on with their lives, not ignoring each other, but not acknowledging each other either. After high school, John spent his gap year traveling across Europe, and when Pedro mentioned to him that Hero was doing the same, he briefly considered meeting up with her. After all, they _were_ in the same city. It might've been nice seeing a familiar face. 

But after five minutes he decided it was a bad, bad idea. It had barely been three months since they graduated, and he wasn't sure how Hero felt about him then, or if she still resented him (even though she swore she had forgiven him). What right did he have? He'd ruined her life, after all. He didn't deserve to enter her life again. So he left it alone, but always wondered about her after that conversation with his brother. 

John honestly thought he would never see Hero Duke again, which was why he was completely taken aback to find her in his philosophy class on the first day of uni. He couldn't tell which one of them was more surprised.

At first, it was awkward, trying to pretend like nothing had happened between them. Like the only connection they had was the friendship between their siblings. But after a few weeks, the stiffness begin to fade and they started to talk more regularly. John didn't tell her that they had been in the same city during their travels, or that he thought about her from time to time, wondering how she was. Soon he discovered that the schoolboy crush he'd had on her all those years ago was rekindling, and he found himself looking forward to philosophy. John knew he would never deserve Hero Duke, not even in a million years. She was amazing and deserved nothing but the best; she could do a lot better than him. So he kept his feelings for her to himself, and satisfied himself with stolen glances in class and irregular conversations with her about, well, anything. Anything but the past, that is. John's therapist would frequently tell him that confronting the past was beneficial, no matter how horrible it was. But this continued to be one thing John and Hero just didn't talk about.

Until one day after class when Hero suddenly told him she had thought about him, too, ever since they graduated. Since she heard that John was staying in London at the same time she was. All John could do was look at her, dumbfounded, and wonder if she really felt the same. 

He came to learn that she in fact did, as they spent more and more time together after that conversation. John realized this was when he started falling for her. And one night Hero told him quietly that she trusted him. He just looked at her with sad, sad eyes and replied that he didn't deserve her. The look on her face changed as she leaned in to kiss him softly. After a moment she rested her head on his shoulder, and he cautiously wrapped his arms around her. He held her like that for the rest of the night, until they both fell asleep in his bed.

They woke up the next morning in each other's arms and just stared at each other silently. They never said it, but they knew. They were in this together. There was no turning back for them now. They'd both spent too much time ignoring their past.

"Are you sure?" he'd asked her.

"Yes."

"I'm pretty messed up, still." He lowered his eyes, ashamed to look at her.

Hero cupped his face, her thumb stroking his cheek. He lifted his gaze to see her looking at him steadily.

"I know."

"I mean, there's a lot about me you don't know. Hell, if you knew...where I've been, you'd probably never look at me the same." He searched her eyes for a clue, a sign, that she would run away. He found none.

"Nobody's perfect, John."

"I can't change what happened, Hero. I don't deserve you." 

Hero shifted her body closer to his.

"I don't care."

John took it all in, and slowly smiled. She smiled back at him, her blue eyes shining.

 

And they never looked back.

 

 

 

 


	4. another rose wilts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-birthday

East Harlem

**Another rose wilts-Hero**

 

Hero couldn't feel anything. She couldn't feel the ice in her veins. She couldn't feel her heart beating. She couldn't feel the tears dripping down her cheeks. All she could feel was the emptiness inside her body.

Beatrice tried to be there for her as much as she could, but Hero knew it was pointless. She was in this alone. Nobody could help her, and nothing could fix this. She was forced to suffer alone. There was nothing else for her to do.

She wondered how everything got so messed up. One minute, she was smiling, laughing. She was happy. And the next, her whole world came crashing down. Everything changed in a matter of seconds. And as much as she wished it, things would never be the same.

Before her birthday, Hero was a rose. A beautiful, vibrant red rose. After her birthday, her bright color had faded to black, and she'd crumpled up just like the petals. She was nothing but a wilted rose now.

 


	5. your  mess is mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set after the series

Mess is Mine

**This mess was yours,**

**Now your mess is mine-John**

 

 

Everything was okay again. At least, as okay it could've been. Everyone in the group (which included John now) was on good terms, and although there were still some feelings of bad blood between some, for the most part life was looking up.

Apart from his apology, John really hadn't said much to Hero, until Beatrice and Ben and everyone left to begin their travels. He still felt guilty for what he'd done, but he figured he should at least try to make it up to her. Not that anything he did could fix what happened, but still. He had to try. He couldn't handle the thought of carrying this guilt around for years to come.

So one day at school he walked up to her and laid it all on the table.

"Here's the thing. I know I apologized, but what I did was still really shitty," he began.

Hero looked at him with a panicked look and blurted out "You don't have to do this."

"I know. But I want to. See, I dragged you into that whole mess all those months ago. I was an idiot to think for one second it wouldn't affect you."

"It's alright, John, really. I've forgiven you." 

He could tell that she was just saying this. She was still trying to pretend everything was okay and to brush the whole disaster under the rug. And he didn't blame her, really.

"I made my mess your mess. Now your mess can be mine."


	6. bury my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series

Moondust

**The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough**

**To bury my love-John**

 

It didn't matter that she'd chosen him.

It didn't matter that he was dating Hero Duke, even after everything that happened and everything they'd gone through.

It didn't matter that everyone had moved past the whole thing, or that he and Pedro were on good terms, or even that John had started seeing a therapist. 

None of it mattered, because even if he became the brother of the year, even if Ann and his dad stopped treating him like a mistake, even if he became completely better, John knew that he still wouldn't deserve Hero Duke. 

Considering what happened, John was impressed with Hero. He hadn't once seen her break down over what happened or say one mean word about anyone, although she had every right to do so. Which just further proved how strong and forgiving she was. Sometimes while they were together, John would just look at Hero and wonder what she saw in him. Why she wanted to be with him. He never failed to be amazed at her character. She was the best person he knew. Hero Duke was the actual sun and her light shone over John. She brightened his life. 

But the sun didn't always shine, and it didn't always reign high in the sky. There were times when John didn't receive Hero's light and brightness, mostly when they weren't together. It was times like these that made John question everything: himself, his life, Hero, and why she was with him.

It wasn't that John thought Hero had made a mistake by dating him. No, she was too smart for that; whatever she did, she had a good reason for it and you would just know it was important to her and if you didn't understand that, well then, Hero Duke didn't need you in her life because she'd had enough of low-life dead weights who breathed poison into her heart.

John knew she was dating him because she liked him-well, he assumed so, because why else would you date someone unless it was a big fat joke? John frequently panicked that this was all a joke and she was just waiting for him to fall in love with her before she swept the rug out from under his feet, laughing at him with everyone else. He couldn't help it, and how could he when he'd spent years being verbally torn down by his so-called brother, the "all round great guy"? Thanks to Pedro, and thanks to that nagging voice in his head that he couldn't seem to shake, John constantly worried that this was all a sham. 

But other times John tried his best to ignore that voice and remind himself that this was Hero Duke he was talking about. "Practically Perfect in Every Way" Hero Duke, who forgave those who wronged her and summoned every ounce of strength she had to move past the whole disaster. They'd started over when they found each other in class their first day of uni. So he reasoned that Hero wasn't holding on to her past anger and secretly concocting a plan of revenge against him. 

He never saw malice or darkness in her eyes, and she almost always had a smile for him. John found himself falling more and more for her every day they were together, but never once did he feel like he deserved her affection. He still couldn't shake his past; it would always haunt him. Hero could spend hours trying to convince him that they were good, that she had no more resentment toward him, and he still wouldn't believe her. 

And it wasn't like he was being all noble or something-no, John wasn't the type.

He just didn't deserve her. That was all he knew, and he could try to be better, for her, but it was useless. She shone too bright.

So he resigned himself to this. Her brightness gave him enough strength to bury his love for her. That was how it had to be.

 


	7. electrify

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series  
> here is a fluff piece bc this has all been angst so far i'm sorry guys

Starlight

**you electrify my life-John to Hero**

 

John had never dated anyone like Hero Duke. Not that he'd dated a lot of people, really. So he didn't have much to compare it to.

But this was different, that was for sure.

She always had a smile for him. Always managed to find some way to convey her affection for him. To let him know she cared.

He knew he'd fucked up in the past, but here they were, years later. It was now and John wanted to make every second with her count. He wanted to deserve Hero Duke. She made him want to be a better person, not just for her, but for himself too.

He figured he owed it to her to try to make up for the past, and show her that he'd changed, that she mattered, that he was willing to try. If he held on to his guilt and shame, it would consume him. So he focused on being with Hero, and tried his best to allow himself to be happy for once in his life. 

Pretty soon John started asking himself why he hadn't done this sooner. It was so easy, letting himself be happy. Hero made him happy.

He discovered that she was a damn good girlfriend. Of course she wasn't the angelic, saintly girl she was portrayed as when they were in high school, but she was still good, and kind. She still had love in her. She didn't wear her heart on her sleeve as much as she used to. Since they started dating, some of their qualities had rubbed off on each other. Hero took on some of John's hardness and John became more optimistic. They just balanced each other out.

Occasionally John would wake up to good morning texts from her, which gave him a smile for the rest of his day. His heart skipped a beat whenever she called him "love" or "babe" (normally he would find all this sickly sweetness simply nauseating, but now he didn't mind it much. He actually thought it was kind of endearing). 

He loved just talking to her. She never judged him or looked down on him, for anything. She just listened. In high school, no one had ever listened to him. They'd just written him off as the sullen loser. But to be valued and celebrated, especially now, was everything to John. And in return, he did his best to make her feel the same, by picking her flowers and making cheesy awful mix CDs for her. 

He loved just being around her. She made him feel calm, but also excited at the same time. Excited that he was near her.

Sometimes when he couldn't sleep, or if he'd woken up from a nightmare, he would text her to calm himself down. And sometimes she would sneak into his dorm room and cuddle with him in his bed until his eyes drooped and his breaths quieted. Sometimes he would wake up with her in his arms, and sometimes he wouldn't. But there was always a reminder that she was there, whether it be her scent, an imprint of her body in his bed, or a note.

John shared his life as much as he could with Hero. He told her everything that worried him, and everything that he dreamed of. His hopes, his dreams, all that sentimental bullshit. They both knew when the other had an important test, or a difficult paper or presentation. And they did everything they could to relieve stress and worry. They were each other's number one fan.

And when John would ace said tests or papers, Hero would celebrate by throwing her arms around him in a hug and dashing off to bake oatmeal raisin cookies in the communal kitchen (they were his favorite-something she'd discovered shortly after they started dating). When Hero finally finished long papers she had been struggling on, John would congratulate her with a fond smile and put on her favorite movie. 

It was during said movie when John turned to look at his girlfriend lovingly. She glanced back at him and said, smiling, "What?"

"Did you know you're my favorite person?"

"I would hope so," she cheekily responded.

He made a face at her, and she gasped indignantly.

"Rude!"

John chuckled, and then pulled her closer.

"Hero Duke, you electrify my life. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Hero wrinkled her nose at him, but the affection remained.

"Aw babe, you're so sappy and I love yo--it. I love it," she stammered. 

John watched her eyes grow big with panic, wondering if she was going to say what he thought she was going to say. Hero swallowed and quickly returned her attention to the TV.

He watched along with her, but couldn't hide the smile on his face.

When the movie ended, he looked at her and said "I love you too."

 


	8. don't call me lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series

Sweetheart, What Have You Done to Us

 

**And don't call me lover, it's not enough**

**It's got to be tough, cynical stuff-Hero**

 

There were still days where Hero felt like she had a storm cloud hanging over her head. Like the whole world was weighing her down.

She still woke up from nightmares in which an angry Claudio yelled at her and called her a slut. She'd accepted long ago that those memories would stay with her for the rest of her life, but that didn't mean she had to be okay with it.

She'd completely forgiven John, which everyone else thought odd because she had never fully forgiven Claudio, who'd done the actual slut-shaming and humiliating and general traumatizing.

 

It was years later. She'd completely forgiven John. She told herself that firmly. She would never excuse what he did, but she understood-to an extent. They had moved past it all, and were together now. 

So why did Hero still feel bitter? Why was she still angry? She knew it was never a good idea to hold on to anger; it would just eat away at her. Even Bea would tell her to let go of the pain inside her. Bea, who was the passionate, loud, angry one. 

She would look at John sometimes, and feel her blood boil with anger. She couldn't quite explain it. She figured she hadn't forgiven him subconsciously yet. She _knew_ they had worked all their shit out, and had done their best to accept the past and move on with their lives. 

But she still resented him sometimes, for what he'd done. How he'd used her in his blind rage. How dare he treat her like a pawn? She was a fucking human being for god's sake, not a chess piece.

 

When he felt affectionate or horny, he would call her his lover. And one night she just snapped.

"Don't call me that!"

Despite the shocked expression on his face, she kept going.

"It's not enough...to be your lover. I'm not your lover. I'm something else entirely. And I think you know that." She shook her head. "No. We share a fucked up past. Our relationship...whatever this is...has got to be more than this. It's got to be tough. It's got to be cynical. It just seems fitting."

She saw the old guilt and shame on his face; she should've regretted saying all that. She was Hero Duke, she shouldn't be causing unnecessary trouble, after all they'd done to move past everything. 

But she didn't regret it. She was glad she'd said that. She felt an odd satisfaction at his discomfort. 

"I deserve more after all that you put me through." She couldn't look him in the face. Couldn't face his pain head on.

She was too busy trying to conceal hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, i wrote and finished this when i was drunk/tired, so i hope this characterization and the emotions make sense.


	9. the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-party

Telescope

**Afraid of what the truth might bring**

**He locks his doors and never leaves-John**

 

Out of everything that could've happened as a result of his plan, John Donaldson never expected Hero Duke to be the one to suffer. She wasn't supposed to take the fall; Claudio was. 

Looking back on it now, he admitted he probably could've thought out all the possible consequences of his revenge. It was just that he literally did not think for a second that Hero would be hurt by this.

She was Hero Duke. Ms. "Practically Perfect In Every Way." Yeah, he'd seen the videos, how else was he supposed to get close enough to Claudio to know how to hit him where it hurt the most? 

He'd laughed at her party because Claudio just looked like such the idiotic jealous, hateful boyfriend. To everyone else, he had no reason to explode on Hero like that. Surely they wouldn't believe any of his accusations. Everyone liked her too much to think ill of her; and besides, she never gave them any reason to.

But he was wrong. They did believe Claudio, and they did turn on Hero. It became worse than he could ever imagine. John didn't know what to do. He hadn't planned for this. So far, no one else around Hero knew he was behind everything. Part of him was glad, but the other part felt a little ashamed. 

But that was the thing, he had no reason to feel ashamed. He barely knew Hero Duke. She was nothing to him. He was nothing to her. So why did he feel so guilty for indirectly fucking her over? 

John didn't know. He didn't want to figure out all the conflicting feelings inside him. So he settled for going back to his old ways, skulking in the corners and hiding in his room. He was almost glad that Pedro had shifted his disdain from his brother to Hero. But only almost.

John wasn't afraid of the truth, exactly. He stood by what he did and didn't regret one bit of it.

He was afraid of what would happen after the truth came out. After all, he knew how angry Beatrice Duke could get, how protective she was over Hero.

So until then, he kept to himself and locked himself up in his room.


	10. the life i've had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series, when John realizes he has feelings for Hero but can't really do much about it

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want 

**see, the life I've had**

**can make a good man bad-John**

 

All John could do was stand there and keep his mouth shut as Hero stiffly spoke to him.

All he could do was pretend that nothing had happened between them, that he hadn't hurt her.

And yet, they still could not manage to act normal around each other.

It had been a year since the party. It was just the two of them now. Well, and Claudio, but they both were smart enough to avoid him like the plague.

It'd been a week since he realized the extent of his feelings for her.

And he hadn't done anything about it.

He **couldn't** do anything about it.

Hero Duke had never failed to impress him with her strength and kindness, and he still couldn't believe how well she'd handled everything.

He wanted to be with her. He wanted to buy her flowers, and make cookies for her (even though he didn't know the first thing about baking), and make her laugh. He wanted her to look at him like he was the sun. Because that's how he felt when he looked at her.

But he couldn't. He shouldn't. He definitely shouldn't. It didn't make sense. Nobody would understand, hell, nobody would ever stop giving them shit for it. Especially Pedro. The whole gang would probably just think that John was being manipulative again, that he was twisting Hero's emotions and thoughts. That he would get in her head and make her think she wanted to be with him, when she really didn't.

He was more than willing to admit that yes, he had manipulated the boys in order to make his plan work. It wasn't something he was ashamed of, because it'd worked, hadn't it?

But it was months later. He had no plans for revenge. He had no ulterior motives now. Especially not with Hero. All he wanted was her.

John really wasn't all that detestable. He'd gotten a lot better since the whole disaster. It was just that the life he'd had, the life with Pedro and his disappointed parents, had been enough to make a good man bad.

But still, he knew she would never have him. 

She would never feel the same.

And why should she? 


	11. affairs of the heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series, when John and Hero have gotten together, much to the dismay of the gang

The Writing's on the Wall

**the mind has no say on affairs of the heart-John and Hero**

 

It had been three months since Hero started dating John. 

Beatrice and Ben and everyone else who was away would be coming back next week to visit, and then they would know everything.

Hero wasn't nervous, exactly. She was more anxious about them finding out about her and John. She didn't care that Bea would be furious, or that Pedro wouldn't approve. She wanted them to know. They didn't have to understand-she didn't expect them to. But she wanted them to know.

John had done a lot of fucked up things in the past, but he was trying to become a better person. And Hero loved him for it.

* * *

Hero's first thought when she woke up was,  _They're coming back today oh god_. Okay she'd lied before. She was a little nervous.

After getting dressed, she checked her phone to find two messages, both from John.

_Morning, beautiful, ready for today?_

_I can come with you to the airport if you like._

Hero smiled at this. Her boyfriend was pretty thoughtful sometimes. She quickly sent back a response.

_Thanks, but I think they would have a heart attack. Maybe wait until they get home?_

 

 

Beatrice and Ben were elated to see her again, of course. They smothered her with hugs and smiles and rushed stories of their travels. Hero had to admit, it was really nice to have them back. 

It wasn't until later that night that the excitement had died down a bit and Ben had gone home to say hello to his mother. Bea and Hero hung out in her room, just like old times.

"Bea, I have to say I really missed you guys," Hero started.

Her cousin gave her a fond smile. "Aw, we missed you too."

"No, like I really missed you. I know we Skyped every once in a while, but it wasn't the same. I was pretty lonely."

Beatrice hugged her tightly. "Well we're here now. So! It's been forever since fuckface, have you been seeing anyone? Don't even try to lie to me, you saucy minx."

Hero let out a shocked laugh at this, and looked down. "Actually, I have."

"Ooooh! Tell me everything, how long, what's his name, do I know him, and most important of all, do I approve of him?"

Hero loved her cousin, she did, but sometimes she wished Bea didn't have to approve of everything she did.

"Well, you do know him, and I'm pretty sure you won't approve."

Bea widened her eyes at Hero, concerned.

"Okay now you have to tell me."

There was no easy way to say it, and Hero was too anxious to spend time beating around the bush, so she just came out with it. "It's John."

She was silent.

"John? Pedro's brother John? You're kidding right?"

"No I'm not kidding, Bea. I'm dating John Donaldson, and I have been for three months now. I know you won't understand it or approve of it, but that's the thing. I don't need you to approve. You've been gone and I was on my own."

The corners of Bea's mouth turned down. "Okay that's not fair, Hero. And why John? He's the one who ruined your life! I can literally think of ten other guys you could be dating right now. You could do a lot better, honey."

"I think I can decide that, thanks very much," Hero retorted, crossing her arms. "I knew you would act like this. Look, I never expected to fall for John, but I did and I can't change that. I think I can make my own decisions now, Bea. I'm 17 years old. I'm not the same person I was a year ago."

To her surprise, Beatrice was listening. So Hero continued.

"He's really changed. He's sweet, and thoughtful, and we communicate really well. I think we're good for each other. I really like him, Bea. I can't help it, the mind has no say on affairs of the heart after all."

Although Hero thought Bea was taking this better than expected, she didn't think it wise to confess that she loved him, at least not just yet.

 

After their talk, Hero checked her phone to find a text.

_How'd it go? Am I dead? Should I leave the country?_

She smiled.

_Not terrible, actually. You're safe to come out of hiding._

A minute later:

_Excellent. Can't wait to see you, love._

 

And suddenly, everything felt alright again. 

 

 


	12. candle burns too bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set post-series

Twilight

**I could make you smile**

**If you stayed a while**

**But how long will you stay with me, baby?**

**Because your candle burns too bright-John to Hero**

 

John knew he was a different person than he was in high school. He wouldn't go so far to say that he was a better person, but he had definitely changed.

He tried to be as good as possible to even come close to deserving Hero. She was the sun, and he was the moon. He was surrounded by darkness, and a part of him would always be hidden away. Even if he wanted to show that part to Hero, he couldn't. 

He always tried to make her smile or laugh, even if it was something completely ridiculous. He cared enough about her to want to go that extra mile.

But sometimes John felt like Hero shone too bright. Like her candle burned too bright. She was a flame that couldn't be contained, a ray of sunshine that wouldn't stop shining. She was everything that was right in the world.

He would question why she was with him. What did she see in him? There were a million reasons why they shouldn't be together. He knew Hero probably wouldn't stay with him forever; she would forget him and move on, eventually.

And honestly? He was terrified of that.


End file.
